Friday, March 31, 2006
whee! last dae of the week! weekends is finally here! wat does tt mean? i can mug all dae! lol. and can go out also! been ages since i dressed up and rock the streets. lol. this morning they nade an announcement tt those students who were caught the previous time to remain beind at the carpark. then the guy next class immediately took out a sissors and asked his friend to cut his hair for him lars. a veri interesting sight.lol. and the way he throw away the hair is als veri funnie lars.. lol.todae first period is pw. did a little work. zz. showed teacher my mind map and we discuss abt my work loh. then is pe! went to toilet to change. omg. jue xuan's scream is so high!!! and plus can drag for ages de. lol. pe we took height and weight.yes! i lost 1kg in... 1 week! hmm... cos didnt haf much appettite the past few daes. then run 1 round around the track. and did college dance. lol. onli know the first few steps. then break! go eat. and smthg funnie happen! since des took the initiative to return the plates, we asked ck to help to throw away the cups. and the prob is qy didnt drink finish her drink. left like 3/4 of it lars.. so i told ck to help drink finish the drink(but think he forgot to drink) and then stack up the cups to throw away. he stack stack stack and when he stack the last cup( which is qy's cup), he used so much force tt he caused the soya bean milk in qy's cup to overspill la. like fountain like tt!!u get wat i mean? omg lars. lol. at the same time des put his shirt right in front of ck. lol. it got soya bean milk all over.me too! qy's bag also kenna. omg lars. we were laughing our heads off. LOL. and the weird thing is ck no reaction de. or rather his reaction time super long. he was totally drenched in soya bean milk! lol. sheng zhi also offer to clean the table with ck's shirt. lol.and we (me qy des and ck) were laughing our heads off on the way to the toilet. lol. make me stomachache.then had maths lecture. we had to sit in front. so near! i sat the first row. but made me pay even more attention! whee. then had to shift again for physics. lol. super funnie. the three amks guys sat together. tian cai, zhi qiang and jin xing. miss wee was asking' tt three green guys sitting together. wat sch u from ar? may flower ar?' lol. then vendra said tt they were the san duo lu hua in our cg. lol. damn lame lah vendra. realli is a high i. lol.after tt was supposed to go with qy and des to lib there to do work. -.- eugene pushed me out of sch to have lunch lars. lol. full of rubbish lars eugene. lol. after tt came back to sch and had chem tutorial! wah got mistakes ms seah also never tell lars. make me waste my efforts. lol. i couldnt follow cos i was so luan. beginning to get stressed out a little. lol.then had sports dae! went to play box with eugene cg. lol. sports dae also waste time lars. but the best thing is tty came back! wah i am SO SO SO GLAD HAPPIE EXCITED ELATED to see her again! talked lots of crap with her! whee!!!! i am still happie over it lars. tong how won first place in one of his race. he didnt manage to run the other cs it began to rain. so we had to go into the hall instead. julian sat beside me. finally. he like so scare of me lars.lol.and i saw zq at the tent there.=ptook pics with ck and also helped amks ppl to take pics.then took bus home. wah the bus uncle also one kind. i was gg down the steps and he go closed the door lars!! the door slamed into my ankle. ouch* stupid.-.-. hope tty's grandma gets better! may the gods watch over her. yup. and some stupid person keep calling tty. so she called the person to go and die. lol.and the person sms her ' since i dunno u and u dunno me lets stop smsing each other!'. lol.so lame lars. and hanwei sprained his ankle. finally get to know who he realli is yesterdae. cos qy called out his nic 'chen haiwei'.lol. so i found out tt he is the hanwei whom i haf been talking to on msn.lol.a lot wu-lu ppl adding me on msn lars.anyway hope his ankle recover.=) and i was rushing ck for the 10 bucks todae lars. he started on his story on his mum selling huo cai and giving him 20 cents a dae. then pour out all his shillings. lol. talk to him can realli laugh ur head off lars. lol.
hmm times have been great. never felt better with all my friends around me! u guys rocks!
veri tired nowadaes. been sleeping late. argh. homework piling le. i need to focus even more le!
when my world was grey, u made me laugh and brighten up my dae.
when my world was red, u made me calm and relax.
when my world was blue, u made me rest and sleep more too.
when my world was... was.... black, u came along with a light and said, u will always be here for me.
i had freed myself from my pain.my burden. my past.
i am now a superwoman-wannabe.
be strong and fight for my future.
be brave and fight for my true love.
be stable and fight for my family and friends.
be forgiving and fight for justice for myself.
be smart and not to repeat my stupid mistakes again.
be honest and fight for the truth.
watever it is, tomorrow will always be a better dae for me.
rampage and terror;
8:12 PM
Thursday, March 30, 2006
wah.. todae end the earliest lars! wat time? 3.00pm! lol. so todae was realli looking forward to gg home straight after sch! hmm todae a rather slack dae.. not much lesson. wah todae had cip talk on sands of mission..-.- bulid singapore's longest sandcastle. aiya no use also lars.. also not the world's longest sandcastle.. then can go down in history. lol. is raising funds lars.. but why not jus give us donation cards lars.. then again it may be fun! gg to east coast on tt dae. 8 august. got road race also.. -.- means need to run! argh.. need train le.. plus building sandcastle also need training lars!lol. interesting. maybe after tt we can go rollar blade! yeah. the had 45mins ct period. wah they took ages to pick reps. and siao lars.. the whole class has a rep position. lol. and i am still stuck with chi rep.with no assistance. lol. then had chem lecture. jasper behind me keep talking and singing songs lars.. lol. and i see the mdm kok made me laugh again. lol. remind me of it. then had one hour break! wah so nan de lars.. went to meet desiree tim and daniel. we went up to the lib and started to mug! lol. hmm their break onli half an hour.. so they went off le i sat there to continue to do my work. then went to meet qy and ate.then went for chi. wah heng i study the night before lars. she realli give test. i got 15/20. k lars.. average lars.. lol. then collect money for chi. wah ppl all keep asking me why so ex. cos $6 dollars for textbk, $2 for photocopying service and file is $1.80 i guess. yup. so tts why so ex. omg lars.. talk to ck can vomit blood sia. lol. but he lame and funnie lars.. lol. keep making us laugh. and this ck is not thebes gamma chye keong but 1S06 chin kheng. lol. he pw rep!wah..physics was boring. qy nearly fell asleep again. and mr low suspects tt i was smsing durng his lesson! lol.zz.-.- i was fiddling with the money under the table lars.. lol. cos i didnt put it in my file properly jus now. lol. and after tt tian cai was demo how to dance the college dance again. lol. he do till damn funnie lars.. he joker lars. zhi qiang was also laughing his head off. after tt head home to study! wah.. still got somemore work to do...! jia you ba peeps! esp tty and emile!=)
and sr uniform looks ugly on me lars!!! i cant stand it! the shirt so small and the skirt too long! must alter more. heck sia..lol.=P
rampage and terror;
7:20 PM
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
wah.. another dae pass again.. time flies!=) hmm had chi first lesson.. wo de ming zi shi dun be kpo!lol. zz gg to haf some stupid chi shu yu test tomrrow.. -.- and i haven collected the money and stuff lars.. chi rep is so... not my type lars.. then break. went fish tank to chiong work with 1S09.=) yeah. the rocks! lol. then had physics prac.dunno wat the teacher talking abt lars. me and qy was like stoning at the back.. =p. then did some work.. managable. cos first 2 months i got listen in physics prac. hee. then pw. lol. foolin around with ck.. the imposter!he lame lars.. lol. super funnie. tian cai also..glad tt 1S06 is not a nerdy class... jokers but know when to mug.. went out for lunch. met junwen..ee.. he er xin lars.. then had econs lecture. after tt decide which cca to go... woot. daxiong mings and yuda came back! yuda tyco sia. managed to appeal to ny.. i want.. =)zzz. forgot limjan got bball training.. if not i go see.. cos i actually no need go for tuition.. sorry!argh.. think sis play maple press the keyboard too hard le.. having prob typing lars..zz. omg. i COULD HARDLY WAIT to wear sr uniform lars.. so ugly.. yucks.. cedar one better=) so hot also.. omg.. and skirt cannot be too short!!eeewww...so pls dun laugh when u see me.. lol.
and we haf yet to form our study group.. lol.. lagg..
rampage and terror;
8:15 PM
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
another sch dae passed.. zz.. more tutorials rushing in.. finish maths and chem. left econs. managed to revise maths chem and econs! woot. finally in the study mood.. no choice lars.. see da xiong struggling in ny now.. zz.. dun wanna end up the same.. plus some lame reasons..=)
1S06 been great. with peeps like qingyu des vendra tian cai and etc.. woot! had lots of laughter and fun. esp tian cai. lol. but missed hanging out with 1S09 peeps. now all different class le.. so we have different timetable with different time slots for breaks and lunch.. sadded.used to haf so much fun. zz.made a pact. or rather an agreement with des tt me and qy will also work hard to be the top few in sr! wah.. lol.am commited to it though. dun wanna end up like o's. know some one told me studies more impt.. but then.. zz action speaks louder than words and time will tell the truth..
cca is another trouble.. zz. cant make up my mind wat cca to join. at the same time dun wanna join any.. wanna concentrate on my studies..also dun want cca to take up so much of my time. at the same time want an active cca.lol.-.- so ma fan hor..hee.tc peeps!
rampage and terror;
10:00 PM
Monday, March 27, 2006
whee! first dae of a new week! fresh beginning!
hmm had a rather nice dae. make lots of friends. not like ppl not as socialable as me!hee..
sorrie PURE D and short pants and legend. made them wait for me and desiree to go squash trials. in the end didnt go. cos it looked super sian.esp PURE D. waited for 2 hours.ah!!! paiseh.tomorrow treat u drink! then suppose to cheer for tong how and junwen.. in the end i dnno lars.. we jus walk walk and walked out of the sch gate.lol. zz.. stupid PURE D took my hp lars..and he go comment tt the canteen auntie's slippers super sexy! omg.. he jiko lars..
lol. went home and got lots of homework to do!finally! can keep my mind busy instead..=p
and guess wat!? i am the chi rep lars.. zz.. how nice.. do i sense sacarism?=)
rampage and terror;
7:10 PM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
argh. guess wat time i slept last night? 4am!! omg.. broke a record.. and now i am not feeling sleepy lars.zz i am turning into a monster.in the past if i slept this late i would haf sleep in the whole of next dae.zz. lol. had a sudden recovery. a little disappointed but still..watever it is, i find is not my worth to get upset over it. =) why? cos i definitly deserve a better person. the past month been a dream. been a scam. now i am a much awake person. i can see truth in everithing. it reminds me to keep my eyes open at all times. however this time has proven that i picked my friends carefully.=) a blessing in disguise. i love all my friends. u know who u are. i was showered with unlimited support and care and love from all my friends and sister.=) cheers to u all!my happie dae haf finally arrived.=) am looking forward to all the mugging times with my peeps. eugene u must lead hor.. pure D. lol. i shall encourage all.. but this time i must make sure me myself haf sufficient self motivation. together 1S09 1st intake and thebes gamma shall top the sch! lol. no lars.. later cannot make it..lol. yeah. finally can go receive my award! special thanks to lj.=) for last night.
to all gers out there, be careful. love is sweet. but love hurts too.
rampage and terror;
1:20 PM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
argh. jus found out stuffs that i didnt wanna know. damn. shld haf seen it coming.been too navie.. wat u haf done, no matter how sincere u ask for forgiveness, no matter how much u wanna repent, u will always feel guilty for life. u will forver had a black mark in ur life.argh...
and i cried so much... i dunno how to take things from here. zz.. been deciving myself.. actually i haven been deciving myself much... been through such things before. break ups.. gee. wat am i so upset for?is not my loss. i dun need to feel upset over such a loss.=)
anyway i am glad i know emile..=)
rampage and terror;
10:33 AM
Friday, March 24, 2006
hmm... smthg happened todae. i got no one to turn to to pour out my sorrow so.... so here i am.
hmm i dun realli undeerstand wat the prob was or the situation is... maybe it was because of my sian face that tires ppl out and make them feel sian when they are with me... if tt is the prob then is realli dumb of me...zzz.. maybe is because i haf no more attraction force le.. and others are sick and tired of me.. dunno. but watever the reason is, the matter is over le. so wat can i do? when u lost smthg u can never get it back. so i suppose i jus haf to settle for this. haven got any other choice do i? feeling down. feeling sad. but things will get better eventually i hope. jus gotta learn to let go. time is the factor.thot my life was complete le. a great bunch of fun loving and supportive friends and someone who i thot will care for me. =) that period of time was realli great... well i suppose even the longest banquet will end one dae. onli when. hee.
life is a ride isnt it? been like shares like tt. rising and plunging. gee. rather drastic changes.
i am classified as a I.S personality. it states there tt christabel values close personal relationships and she oftens put the needs and desires of those who are loyal friends ahead of her own needs. she will work to avoid conflict and sudden changes in her lifestyle.relationships play a key role in christabel's life. she tends to be a veri trusting indiviual . christabel enjoys encouraging those around her and ppl see her as a person who frequently inspires others.she is usually seen by those around her as a good friend and listener. greatest fear? loss of relationship. lol. christabel may haf difficulties being honest abt things if there is a fear tt there will be devastating effects to a relationship and relatinships are important to her.lol. a bit accurate lars..
i love making friends. esp those fun loving de like 1S09 , 1S06 and thebes gamma! and i hate to make my friends sad or angry.
see i am a great friend? ya. i suppose so.. lol. so thick skinned... ya i like encouraging ppl.. i encourage my friends so much tt they scored better than me for O's..zz..
maybe i gave too much le.. to others.. i dunno.. where is everione?
well i suppose i haf to face this on my own. and some support willingly contributed by limjian.=)thanks. hero to the rescue...
hope a brighter dae will soon arrive..=)
brings back a lot of memories...
red, white, yellow, red
rampage and terror;
5:04 AM
Thursday, March 23, 2006
whee. we had a fun dae todae. todae had team excellence camp. wonderful! esp the water games.lol. me qingyu yang sheng des and ck2 had fun bursting the water bombs!totally soaked to the skin! we also steal water bombs from the neighbouring team. lol.hmm then des hid some empty plastic bags in his pocket lars.. lol. filled them up with water. and bombed eugene with it! lol. he got shocked. and opps accidentally poured water into his phone.zz.had college dance and mass dance. erm partner was qy lars.. half way ys and his friends came to fnd us and we did in circles.lol. went kovan mac to eat lars.. saw alot of sr ppl there. and shirley too!wah.. sa uniform damn nice lars...hmm then went home alone lors..
hmm from now on i will be going home alone lars.. so dun ask me so much k.. or why.. zz..
i jus cant help looking at u and our pictures. wish that u would take back wat u said.
rampage and terror;
11:02 PM
if i never met you, i wouldnt like you.
if i didnt like u, i wouldnt love you, i wouldnt miss u.
but i did, i do and i will.
if you are asking if i would hurt u the ans is never.
if you are asking if i love you, the ans is forever.
if you are asking if i want u, the ans is i do.
if you are asking wat i value most, the ans is u.
i will be waiting. jus dun make me wait like a fool.
rampage and terror;
3:13 AM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
todae had disc workshop together with cg. know a few jokers. desmond and vendra.lol.
i seriuosly dunno wat else to blog. haiz. been passing each dae with ignorance. hard but trying. all i can sae one dae i may seriously break down. onli qy will understand. zzz.. when i see others i can onli envy. when will it be my turn? truly my turn.
as ignorant as i am, i know how i feel. some one pls come and take away my pain.
i may be understanding i may be neutral. but cant u see my heart aches like a whacking cane.
i miss all the times we spent together. all the smiles i gave u. nevertheless u remain cold.i am breaking down bit by bit everidae. till there is no more christabel heng.if onli u know wat i am going through. and try to understand wat i realli feel. do smthg abt it and not nothing. or else.. i will jus haf to let go...
rampage and terror;
11:39 PM
rampage and terror;
3:42 AM
argh. i jus keep my hands off my blog le.. and mani ppl are asking me not to let my blog die..=)
zz. todae got orientation dae.i mean cca orientation. signed up for a few cca. gg to try out lars.. if realli cant make through the trials then join odac ar..if not no cca loh.. jus let bernard tan come after me..and skin me alive.lol.
wah i full of injuries now.. my blister got worst. had to bandage. skin starting to peel le.. omg lars.. luckly cannot see de.. and i jus burnt my hand with iron!!! ouch.. now can see the print lars.. zz.. todae got scolded in lib. was doing tuition work. but junwen came over and keep disturbing us. his voice can onli make louder lars.. ask him keep quiet cannot de.. volume still the same lars...lol teacher scold le he still talk back.. he sae defend us.. lol. is obvious tt the teacher won lars.. then he keep talking back.. omg lars.. pull us all down lars.. now the whole lib know us. me desiree eugene and guang yu. lol. and the most pop is junwen. now a lot ppl asikng me is it i got scolded in the lib..-.- and i queeue up so long for calculator.. in the end no stock!zz. went to playground again.. play swing.. lol. daniel damn lame.. he couldnt swing himeself! lol. and tian cai keep swinging himself sideways! lol. hanging out with them sure rocks! they never fail to cheer me up.. junwen keep tapping my shoulders lars.. think tts why i abit suay nowadaes..
they all sae i supertitious.-.-
todae suddenly got so mani memories rush back to me..and i am looking forward to tomorrow cos i same class as qingyu! hee.thanks emile!=)lets all jia you ba..
and thanks to jojo for tt super encouraging testimonial!
rampage and terror;
2:42 AM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
hello. know i said le.. tis blog is gonna be dead.. but i jus couldnt help to add in one more entry. hee.
jus looked through some old photo albums of my mum and dad and all of us. saw their wedding photos.. hee. cant imagine my life. when am i gg to get married? when i am gg to haf my first kid? will my partner love me forever?
then on tv it was showng the bali lian ren. some korean romance story. jus nice when i sat down it was showng the part when they were breaking up..=( saw the ger walking away.cant the guy see she is crying? her back is facing u but cant u see her tears falling? cant u feel her pain.. each step she takes as she walks further away from u it is as though a knife is cutting through her heart? ' i know a heartbreak is painful. but never did i expect it to be this painful. my heart is torn apart. i cant think. i cant concentrate. i haf no mood fo anything.my eyes hurts. cos i haf been crying.all the more does my heart.but why cant u see?'
she is not trying to play hard to get ,giving u attitude or anything. she jus cant cry infront of u. cos is too painful. zz..
~the love atmosphere has suddenly dispersed.. al couples out there.. stay strong!~
and to emile: study hard kaes? zm been feeling so guilty..
ok tts all le.. from now.. the blog will be dead for some time le.. tc everione.. and again big thanks to clarbear! muacks to all bears!=)
this is the end and realli the end of somene called bel..
rampage and terror;
5:17 AM
found out my cg todae.. same with qy! yes. think abt it makes me happie!and zm also...i dunno lars... and tian cai also.. daniel got some combi that he didnt even put la.. got bio in it.. and he doesnt even take bio!zz.. pon chi and the physics teacher siao todae. feel like slapping his face! zz.. thot todae was a happie dae... on the way home met this crazy person. offer me a drink.. claim to be a policeman.. with a luggage? pls loh.. where go so stupid lars.. ask me wat wrong.. cos i was c_y___g in the rain... think gg to fall sick soon...he sae he ran from the bus stop to the petrol kiosk jus to buy me a drink..zz. and he claim tt he saw me when he on the bus.. and the bus stop is after the over head bridge..and i didnt even see him run pass me lars..plus u buy stuff from petrol kiosk they will give u a shell plastic bag lars.. his was the normal red plastic bags u get when u buy take away food drom the hawker centre...zz.. i not small kid lars.. tried to ignore him.. he refuse to go la.. i stood up and left.. he came after me!!! omg.. damn.. i ran sia.. shit lars.. make my heart burst ar...
realli feel like blogging more.. but cant.. dunno how to blog le.. this blog may be dead for some time from todae onwards... sorrie to all slient readers...
lost my mind lost my soul lost my heart..lost my universe.
my world turned grey. no more colour le..
i totally ruin my life.
for now this is the end of someone called bel.
rampage and terror;
12:31 AM
Monday, March 20, 2006
sian. so decided to blog again..
hmm had an introduction to pw todae. omg la.. looks tough..still got oral presentation.. certain parts need to do by urself la.. then todae dunno why keep seeing my partner.. zz.. he sit behind me somemore.. omg la.. hear them keep talking abt cedar and stuff.. think heard them saeing i veri blah blah blah.. and smthg else abt cedar.. kaoz.. smack them..
a rather sad dae with sad weather...
and here is clarebear! this entry esp delicated to clarebear! ok la.. part of it.. been a fun and lame bear as he always is.. never fail to cheer me up with his lameness.. in the past when he and ed are together their overall lameness will definitely fling u to cloud nine!lol. too bad u missed out the ice skating!see him blowing the cake? heard tt it is as hard as a rock..lol.. well he jus turned 17! woot.. now he can stay out late! wont get caught!lol..he so lucky. got into ny.. zz.. all the best clare bear!lol. used to play box together!damn fun! earthquake like jw always sae.. lol. and there's this big pen of his.. wah.. so big that is so hard to write with it lars.. but the refill is the size of our normal 0.7 pen!cool.. miss all the fun times that 1S09 had. plus u sleeping during cg lessons and kenna caught! lol. he pro sia. master the art of sleeping while standing! huahaha... wateva it is.. clarebear rocks!=) cheers to clarebear and 1S09 peeps!
rampage and terror;
5:41 AM
Sunday, March 19, 2006
jus came back from sch.. cant buy uni todae cos they out of stock le.. zz..
nthg interesting todae la.. but it was great to see all 1S09 peeps again... desiree, eugene, guangyu, tim,kevin, daniel a.k.a legend, jun wen plus qingyu! they never fail to make my dae. always bring me laughter... take away my pain.
i am glad i know them. life been great cos of them and mani more of my friends. but i regret certain things in life. i dunno if some stuffs i made the correct decision. if i will realli bear the consequences or am i able to do tt in the first place. life will never turn out the way we want it to be. is it realli true? cant i prove tt belief wrong? cant i make my life the way i want it to be? dreams and inspirations are wat that drives one forward. am i too ambitious? i haf no idea. i am lost at the moment. mani things seemed to be a illusion to me. it looked so true. yet it never was from the beinning. i haf been deciving myself. i haf been trying to accept the way things are. the way things haf changed. the way things will gonna be in the future. things change. ppl change. the whole world is changing. i realise things will never be the same. i thot __ will always remain the same. cos time has proven ___ that love can be everlasting.
i was wrong. a miscalculation. i cant carry on anymore. i am gonna break down. things can be simple. onli human makes it complicated. WRONG. some things are actually complicated. i been trying to make it simple. but i haf been failing. i haf no more strength to carry on. cos all my efforts been wasted. been useless. i haf no more confidence. no more hope.
sa-rang-hae-yo,i no longer knows wat it means.
sa-rang-hae-yo,i no longer knows wats in for me
sa-rag-hae-yo,i no longer trusts wat it is
tts all for todae...
rampage and terror;
11:49 PM
Friday, March 17, 2006
aftermath of ice skating.. body ache!
argh. woke up at 7.45 todae. slept for onli abt 3 to 4 hours.zzz. thought i will be late for todae outing. in the end???? i am the first to arrive!omg la. sms frog to ask where is he.. at farrer park..zzz.waited. then saw shirley from plmgs. next to come was gerard. then frog. asked frog to ask the rest where are they. guess? all jus embarked on their journey to come la.lol. gerard sae wanted to screw frog.lol.ask us come super early.. then in the end? we went mac to eat and while away time.wasted 2 hours of waiting time la.zz. sp came. then shaun!omg. he came!whoo. lol. but he refused to sit with us. zz then yijun ck yongde and shirley came. and we finally went to sentosa!met sparta ppl also. lol. alan said he asked the whole family come and onli abt 10 plus ppl turned up. lol.bought tics and headed down to the palmawan beach. put our things in the shelter.and started to play! went into the water. push kross into the water. lol. then one by one all of us got pushed into the water. played monkey in the water.omg. the water so salty! gg to get high cholestrol.lol.sparta ppl came to join us. 3 ppl be monkey.zz. alan sabo!lol. yongde super tyco. keep being monkey. then they played captain's ball. went 7-11 to buy drink. the rest had a quick lunch. wanted to save my stomach for dinner.sat at the playground to eat.wah got scandal! lol.after that we own self draw boxes and played the box game!woot. fun. sudden death for gerard by me. lol. when my turn always suddenly jump! damn fun. won a few times.lol. then played captain's ball again. sp, shirley from plmgs, shaun, ck and me one group. the rest another. beat them hands down 6-2. lol. thansk to ck. super pro sia.lol.the sand too hot le. is obvious tt frog and gerard were having sun burnt as they took off their top and skin is turning red. shaun bought frisbee. played with that too. zz. frog hitted my shin with it la. super pain. went to soak in the water again. did some stupid and lame stuff.lol. if can will post the pics.lol.had a lot of laughter in the water. thought shaun wanted to sucide. lol. went to bathe. the queue so long la. we gers took quite a long time tt ck keep peeping in to ask us to hurry. zz. took the bus back to harbour front. saw jasper! lol. so qiao. met ty sm bijun emme and jerlyn at sentosa beach also!headed down to marina south to eat steamboat.lol.i am guilty. missed one bus and made qy waste time! sorrie. had fun with the live prawns. put it in the soup and it still can jump out la!scary. went take photos la. we gers are pro sia. wasted 1.50 playing the stupid game.zz.headed home. keep taking lots of pics on the way back.zz. esp on the bus. lol. on the mrt i malu la. wanted ck to help me throw away wrapper. keep throwing to him. he sae must throw into his bag then he help. lame.zz. missed the first few times. then opps! aming went heywired and i hit the man sitting beside ck!omg la. stupid ck pretend dunno.zz.. u good! so malu. the rest keep laughing at me la.. lol.alighted at tp mrt station with ck. then at last home sweet home. but got thrashed cos late.. zz.. dunno if still able to go out annot.i hope can. tts all folks.and ck keep scandal-ing all dae la.. zz.. sp and blah.. me and blah.. and...lol. skin a bit dark and burnt!ouch.. plus blister!
thanks to all thebes gamma members for making this outing a memorable one!muacks to u!
rampage and terror;
10:05 AM
Thursday, March 16, 2006
hello.
guess wat time? hee. couldnt sleep. so here i am peeps.
had a rather fun dae. went ice skating with 1S09. fun! helped guangyu and joo to skate. lol. guangyu funnie. keep holding onto the railing and refused to budge. lol. desiree and i had to keep pulling him away. tim and jo managed to learn to move la.. not bad liao. been ages since i last stepped into the rink. missed the old times we both had. zz. fell twice though. hee guess i lost my touch. and guess wat jun wen was super duper late la..was planning to wait for him. but desiree and mx couldnt wait any longer so we went in first. whoo. we paid 8.40 onli and had no o/t charge. lol. guangyu and jo had to pay $10.50 or smthg for 2 hours. jun wen keep disturbing us. lol. always action action like gg to fall like tt.. zz.. use his gloves to wipe the ice floor then wipe on us.. eww.. always wanna push me down like tt..disgusting. then we tried to form a line and skate.zz.. jun wen caused somene to fall down again... lol. always him. skated till abt 4.30. junyuan they all still playing pool. had to keep pestering them before they willing to leave.
went sean house to bbq. zz. didnt realli eat much. played with the dogs. one of them keep staring at the fish.. lol. jun wen again come and disturb me... lol. idiot. but got helped to cut the watermelon la.. lol. still use the skin as deco. he lame and funnie la..
left at 10.25. apparently quite disappointed. ppl, dun expected too much cos it will aways be below ur expections.
zm still wanted to stay............ so i went home alone.thanks ryan. awake till now.. jus couldnt sleep.
cant wait for tomorrow. whee.
rampage and terror;
10:53 AM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
sian dae. thot zm coming sch so came to sch. ended up he late. sat at chem lecture all by myself. with desiree also la. half way break sneak off again. with desiree also. zm sae he wanna go back for lecture. zz. fine. had one and a half hour to spare. went to play swing. zz. zm sae will come find me after lecture. in the end go friend house.wth. totally no mood todae. sian. then sae wanna meet tomorrow.. in the end... guess urself.
now eveyone all ps-ing me. zzz..
ya sure. i be all alone la. also not first time.
rampage and terror;
4:05 AM
Monday, March 13, 2006
went to sch todae. it wasnt the female lecturer todae... some wulu male lecturer. makes me sleep la..zzz. gave us a break at 8.59 am. me and desiree decided to go off.tim ps us. lol. but we not the onli ones la.. most of the ppl who were in sr for first 3 months and who attended todae lecture also went off..
kenna ps by zm also. walked to kovan all by myself todae. so lonely.took out notes to read also.
on the bus saw the show jus for laughs or smthg. funnie.slack the whole dae too. but did mugged a little. went to play bball and swing. swing rocks.cos it makes me forget all my troubles. and when i sit on it i jus like to laugh or smile. plus at night. weather super cooling.tts all.. and someone enjoying at seoul garden now.. lol. piggified la tt person. never been there before. cant wait for thurs and fri to come.whee=)
and love seems to be in the air! whoo.
rampage and terror;
5:04 AM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
had a cold war last night. locked myself up in the toilet till 3. zz. couldnt go out todae.
stayed at home to bake cookies. baked a whole lot of them. cooking rocks cos it helps me forget stuffs.then was slacking at home for most of the dae loh. didnt even step out at all.. tomorrow still got sch. neighbour selling their house.
think my stars not shining brightly now.
can someone help to brighten up my daes?
things are not gg the way i want the to be.
is heaven making fool out of me?
is this my fate?my life?
destiny meet the world. world meet destiny.
we face so many challenges in life.
but do we actually learn anything from it?
if we do,
if we dun,
does it matter at all to u?
so much for friends.
so much for family.
so much for brothers.
so much for love.
so much for u and me.
rampage and terror;
5:09 AM
Saturday, March 11, 2006
i love you
wanna share with all a love story...
once i met u, i had my eyes on u. u made me feel alive, awake.
u told me u needed me. i believed. i trusted.
i held ur hands for the first time, felt ur sweet lips on mine for once, ur hands tt burn my skin and those words any girls would die to hear.
i was in heaven. I WAS IN LOVE.
evrything went fine.
but then again, the truth started to appear.
when u saw her, u immediately released my hands.
when u saw her, u quickly hide ur face away.
when u saw her, u turned red and looked as innocent as u can.
when u saw her, u gave a smile u never had given me.
i hid my feelings.
my fear, to lose u.
my saddness, tt i didnt matter as much as she do to u.
my anger, tt u didnt make good use of ur words.
my depression, over reasons of why was i so vain to believe u.
my happiness, tt.. tt.. i have none of it left.
cos it is all gone.
i felt empty.
i acted like nothing happened.
like everything is back to wat it is.
i felt hurt.
u told me u love me. i said the same to u.
u asked me never to leave u. i said the same to u.
another her appeared.
u were happie to see her.
u were excited when she approached her.
u were elated to hear her voice.
i couldnt sae anything.cos i dun wanna lose u.
u told me not to hang out with other guys.
u told me not to hug other guys like i did to u.
u told me not to kiss other guys the way i kissed u.
u told me not to talk to other guys.
u told me not to sms them so much.
u told me not to stand near them.
i agreed. cos of u. i agreed.to all.
but i saw
u hanging out with them.
u talking to them.
u laughing wth them.
why must i keep my promise and yet u dun need to?
why must i always give into the relationship and yet u dun need?
i dun understand the way u behave.
i dun understand the way i think.
i dun understand the way u loved me.
i cried. my heart out. my lungs out. my eyes out.
i couldnt tell u how i feel.
i was afraid tt u would think i am some freak tt stick to u all the time.
i was afraid tt u would think i dun trust u.
i was afraid tt u would think i was being lame and childish.
i was afraid tt u would think i was being a bitch and throw ur face away.
i was afraid tt u would think i was...
i dunno.. there is so mani reasons.
but the main thing i was
afraid of
is to lose u.
cos i love you.
been trying to prove it.
i gave way to u each time.
but i cannot control anymore.
i am dying in order to love u.
everione can sae i love u these three words.
but onli with meaning do i realli wann hear it from u.
but onli with actions do i realli believe u.
even a toy u refuse. cos it would spoil ur image.
i jus want u to know,
i love u. and i mean it with my life.
touching hor?=)
u said u understand.u will prove to me that u love me.
i dun see it.i dun wanna turn into a possesive monster. i dun wanna restrain u from meeting all ur ger friends.
i could even hardly catch a glimspe of u. u sae u refuse to sit besdie me cos u didnt want ur friend to tease u. i sae excuse. u always disurbed me to let u sit beside me in the past. u were never afraid that ur friend will tease u.in fact i was the one who was afraid.
after sch u would always snatch my file away so that u can hold my hands. this time u said it was gay. i miss the zm whom had always been walkng me to kovan.u kept looking at the back. i know u were seeing the bus. cos when it was approaching u quickly let go of my hands and pretended to adjust ur uniform. i dun know who is on the bus. but i could always guess.u told me u no longer need to treat me well cos u know who i am le. cos u are sian of it. there's no need to sweet talk to me anymore.u couldnt see my face. the hurt.the pain.i hate it.
if i can rewind back the time, i would go back to the first two weeks we spent together and keep replaying it all over and over again and again.
cos of u i kept my distance away from the guys.my words no longer meant anything to u. i feel so neglected. so alone all of a sudden. u always jio me out. now? u feel sian. i merely said if u dun wanna go then dun go. but in my heart i always wanted u to go. so that i can see u and hold ur hands. instead u realli said 'ok then i go sleep le'. i cant tell u how i am feeling. cos i cant describe it.
i want to go back to the past. where u always come and find me. disturb me. i can onli cry at my desperation now. if onli u nderstand, if onli u know, and if onli u wil realli change to treat me better...
i haf always envy other couples. how they manage to be so loving after so long.we haf onli manage to pass the first month.haf i lost all my attractions? haf i lost the game to keep u beside me?
i suppose i am the biggest fool in the world. all the while i had a treasure in front of me. yet i chose to throw it away. and now tt i want it back, i could no longer haf it back. cos it now belongs to someone else. and all i haf now is something tt maybe doesnt even belong to me.
rampage and terror;
3:47 AM
Friday, March 10, 2006
zz.. super bad mood now.. dun ask me why... cos i so freaking pissed.. zz.. feeling so lonely all of a sudden...cos of someone..dun ask who either...
omg la.. dunno was happening to me.. monterous me.. zzz. now everithing all buay song.. aiya dun wanna blog le.. jus feeling super down and lonely la. kenna ps..
rampage and terror;
11:09 PM
last dae of orientation liao... zzz.. was slightly hyper todae la..in the morning heard tt freaking principal talk.. zzz... she nuts ar.. talk some crap abt the college anthem.. explain to us wat it means.... like small kid like tt.. explain also not clear... keep repeating the same sentence.. after tt did mass dance.. zzz.. boring la.. spent so much time on dancing instead.. zz.. jasper was super funnie la.. smile! till like cramp like tt.. lol.after tt family yime again.. zzz.. eat into our break time la...then we had games!zz.. played water games.. super fun.. esp the moving house.. woot.played a lot of tmes.. got super wet! jasper is a joker la!lol. but had fun.. lost though.. and got splashed with water! thoroughly wet... had more games.. lost all 3! omg.. jimmy la.. sae we confirm win all.. see la.. lol..desiree had their break earlier.. so just bought some snacks and eat in the hall!.. shhh... lol. had college dance again! yucks.. then had family time..so long la.. ty came and crash... so sneak off to meet her..=) woot! super happie to meet her la.. hugged her too! muacks ty!
hehe.. but half way she went off le.. so i alone... zzz... met tim! went crash thebes also.. saw some i dun wanna see stuff.. zzz.. then had dinner and finally fiesta night! woot. before tt the guys went to change.. lol. jimmy got a s size for his orientation tee.. super small.. and we were laughing at him.. lol.. jasper was busy teasing him abt his nei.. lol.. after fiesta night cheered kingsly up! cos he lost our score sheet... nvm la! is ok is alright...=) kingsly still rocks! we lurf kingsly!tts all for todae..
think i turning into a freaking monster soon... zzz.. wth... freaking..
rampage and terror;
6:17 AM
Thursday, March 09, 2006
hello ppl!i'm back!
woot. orientation been.. great? lol. always crash thebes delta instead...lol. got caught instead by justin todae..zzz. mistaken as spy for delphi? lol. wth. thebes gamma rocks forever k!!!
did mass dance and college dance le.. played 3 games out of 10 todae..woot. delphi epsilon super enthu sia.. esp the first game.. jasper and jimmy..woot... super enthu! good!=) lolwon all 3 games todae! oh ya.. we got a super lame teacher la.. zz.. mr ow..he lame till cannot stand it..cant blog much... mum gonna trash me soon.. lol cya.
and zm got posted back to sr! woot.. happie!
but poor emile got stucked in yj.. zzz..
rampage and terror;
4:16 AM
Friday, March 03, 2006
posting results out le.. even before 8 out le la..zz. got into.. SRJC loh.. sian la.. i so bu fu qi.. got better than prelims still get back into sr.. zz the posting sucks la.. even guangyu after bonus 10 points still get back into sr.. majority of my cg got posted back to sr.. og also..went to appeal the whole dae.. hope can get in ny of cjc!zz zm got into yjc. he dun wanna appeal back to sr..=( fine la.. cant do much.. is up to him la.. gonna miss the times la..walk to kovan bus stop, crash 1S09, eat cookie and all the stuffs.. zzz.. like not sad at all.. zz fine la.. jus found out i from delphi! omg. i want thebes la..zz. todae been a great dae..ya right...
rampage and terror;
4:11 AM
Thursday, March 02, 2006
zzz.todae had a super scary dae!!!first had cg lesson.. as usual sian.. but before tt went to help eugene to deposit his sleeping bag in the locker.then some kind of like played with the locker.lol. found out tt the dollar can actually take back de.. from inside the locker!then had a hard time begging eugene to tell me something... used the box game to declare the winner.. crazy la.. 2 ppl play onli. lol.during cg lesson was as usual crapping away with eugene. junwen and gang was also fooling around.. da xiong got caught for sleeping or lying on the table. asked to stand. he told teacher tt no use cos standing he will also fall asleep la.lol. my class damn nice and funnie la. skipped physics lecture! woah. tts when the scary part comes. was in the canteen eating with therest of the cg tt was poning also. zm was there also. then eat finish le we sat there a while. was abt to tell the rest to leave when zm spotted his physics tutor!kaoz.stupid old man..zzz.. zm got picked out. guangyu tyco also kenna question.. i quickly act innocent and ran to the toilet la.. zzz. hid a while then came out. zm got my bag.. then as walking to foyer when saw the teacher again! damn la. quickly ask the rest to walk faster..zz. they cannot get it into their heads sia..still walk so slow. zm jia jia walk towards lt5. we rush up to lib. zzz. stupid old teacher came also la.. even chased all the way to the lib la.. guangyu got caught again!zzz got scared!! first time kenna caught la.. sounds stupid but still.. freaked out la.. spent the next hour running all over the sch..stupid teacher so stubborn.. keep chasing after us for wat...left sch at 1230. stupid zm. purposely ask me if wanna go pool in front of his friends la..think i dunno wat u thinking.zzz. then before i left helped eugene to collect his stupid and stinky sleeping bag..zz. keep hitting me with it some more...walked to hougang mall with zm. blazing sun sia. go pat my back.. make my shirt wet la..did some stupid things todae.... came home feeling tired and hungry... tts all..
rampage and terror;
5:13 AM
