some jokes to relief exams stress=)
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by
boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this
country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if
we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog
vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she
says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in
foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry
to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for
a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What
part did you get?"
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Happiness Of Life
An American, a Frenchman, and a Vietnamese refugee had a
discussion about the happiness of life.
"To me, happiness is returning home on a Monday evening, having a
wonderful dinner prepared by my wife, then slouching on the sofa
watching Monday Night Football," the American said.
"You Americans are not romantic at all", the French injected,
"Spending a lovely evening with my lover, walking along the Seine
river, and having a romantic dinner on top of the Eiffel tower. That
is happiness of life."
"You call those things happiness", the Vietnamese said, "then you
two still don't understand life at all. Imagine this. You are
sleeping soundly at night in Saigon. Then suddenly you hear loud
knocks on your front door. You hear loud voices, 'Mr. Nguyen Van
Binh, open the door!'. Awaked with fear, you rush out and open the
door. Right there, you see two secret policemen ready to handcuff
you. One man say to you, 'Mr. Nguyen Van Binh, you are under arrest
for your anti-revolutionary activities. You are being sent to the
re-educational camp for an undetermined period of time. Sweating
profusely and shaking uncontrollably, you reply to them, 'Comrades,
Mr. Nguyen Van Binh lives next door.' That moment is the ultimate
happiness of life, my friends."
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So What Are You Smuggling?
Tuan comes up to the border between Vietnam and China on his
bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops
him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Rice," answered Tuan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The
guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and
finds nothing in them but rice. He detains Tuan overnight and has
the rice analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure
rice in the bags The guard releases Tuan, puts the sand into new
bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the
border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have
you got?"
"Rice," says Tuan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the
bags contain nothing but rice. He gives the sand back to Tuan, and
Tuan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years.
Finally, Tuan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a
noodles restaurant in Vietnam.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something.
It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep.
Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Tuan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
Funnie?up to u lah.
