Saturday, October 30, 2004
so..gona hav boring days ahead of me.cant even eat fries.y did i eat jack fruits in the firz place.hmm frgt it.tues n i wil b free..woo.go flyin.ahh...wad rubbish.instead of slpin all the time today,decided to wach vcds.one of dem:ndp 2003!!!woo!both my sister and i laughed at everyone's faces.includin the baboon's.cant sae hu.hah.yea.n afta wachin tt,tot of all the charity shows and spca,so many pple are tokin bout bein a volunteer dere.n realize that my life iz so wonderful afta all.
no matter wad,im gona stay happy for the rest of my life.
even if some stupid tchers scold me,argh wadeva.its ok.i dun mind.music to my ears?!?nobody can avoid tt.
i shld learn how to b independent.
learn how to b alone comfortably.
learn how to b a loner?
no matter wad,gona b strong.coz i hav a family yu noe.duno y im tokin bout thz.bud..juz felt lik.coz i felt i reli bonded wif my sister today.nice warm fuzzy feelin inside me.
no matter wad,im not gona bow down to temptations!thou im tinkin bout fries now.bud gona eat spaghetti later.juz b4 i eat the stupid tablet or it's gona 'swirl' inside my stomach.if yu undastan.
im hungry!!!
k.2mr's sunday!or rather today!it's 12:06am.i muz go on.i can do this.finish up all the tablets and no more sick me!
nitenite!
frm,
ty
rampage and terror;
8:56 AM
Friday, October 29, 2004
iz thz font big enuf?or izit juz nice?too big?too small?or same?duno.er erhem.juz cleared my throat la.lemmi test.ok.thz's the normal size?isnt it the same?ah wadeva manz!duno.hah.so.lemmi start by sayin.woo!i juz deleted somebody frm my msn list,made me a little more comfortable.actually much more den b4.since i dun hav to tink whether i shld b tokin to tt person or not.anw tt person's so disgustin tt noone shld b tokin to him.haiz so bad.bud he deserves it manz.haha.so lemmi tink.today's 29 oct.wad happened on mon..
mon..was a hol!??!oh yes it is.it's promotion day.bud we all wenta skoo.i mean the guides.reached skoo later.den felt sick.headache.felt lik vomittin.especially afta i ate my father's wholemeal bread.eeee.izit wholemeal?i frgt.well,den briefed sec 2s.spilled out everythn to souvenir pple veri quickly den i rested.or izit rest.yea.n went cine wif guides.
tues:skoo!i love skoo manz!wad did we do!?i duno!!woo!
wed:i duno!
thurs:i noe!it was last day of skoO!wenta skoo wif a stupid sore throat.how did i geddit?ask my papa!it was the jackfruits!actually nt my papa la.it's my mumi.hu bought the jack fruits coz dey were cheap.juz realized today tt she was the one hu bought it wen she told me auntie.argh.overheard the conversation.iyah.nvm la.it's my fault.din drink water afta eatin it.my mumi's funi.buy so mani.in the end muz eat herself.eh haha.so..had fever n took cab to clinic.driver was funi.he told me bout his old skoo bud i din noe where.he kept pointin bud i oh oh..huh?n said bubbye to him!wenta clinic n saw mumi dere waitin for me.she hates the person hu's behind the counter,who's called receptionist?hmm.yea.frgthot it happened bud it's damn funi.so old liao stil wan quarrel.no.not veri old!onli 30 plus plus!den temp was 38.1 degrees.wow.memory quite good ah.yea.n toked to the naggy doctor.haha.lame doctor.n went hme.eat slp.den had a slpy day..
fri:today!it's a horrible horrible day manz!mumi woke me up.horrible.n saw the clock.onli 10 plus.siao.bud she said muz eat medicine..so..k lor.ate wached tv.took medicine n almost vomitted.eeew.i hate tablets.i reli dread the time wen i need to take my medicine manz.stil need to take one more time later on b4 the day ends.noone can save me.oh no...
2mr's sat.wil papa bring us out?mayb not...mayb he'll say "you're stil sick la.how can.stil need take medicine."iyah anythn la pa!same old yu.neva change.even your hairstyle oso NEVER change.mumi complains yu noe.change!!
eh christabel,sori?din go j8 wif yu.sick.hope yu undastan.yu wil rite?woo.nvm.stil got chance de.i tink.ask me go ur tuition y nt yu come mine ah!your tuition tcher iz so evil!tok bad thngs behind my tcher's back..orh hor...i wan complain.i wil encourage my tcher to sue ur tcher.den yu wun hav any more tcher to teach yU!muahah.my tcher sure win de!weee!!
i hate pple wif private numbers..lik emmeline ah!den i cant c the number.eh can change your no to nt private de?or next time yu use public fone.wen i c the no i can call back if i miss the call.bud yu muz stan by the public fone.wen it rings pple stare n yu quickly pick up k?eh den yu muz put lotsa coins inside.yu wil b malued.or yu wan my no?yu tink iz nice?can la.adopt a no programme.yu chose tze yin's no!congratulations!yu wil geddit soon..bluff yu la.so happy for wad..haha.seems lik im tokin to myself ah.stupid me.
good luck to everyone hu's takin hml xams on mon!good luck to my diagnostic testssssss..sux.
nitenite!
frm,
tze yin
rampage and terror;
7:37 AM
Sunday, October 24, 2004
realli dunno wat to write here.there's still so many things tt i cant let go.i dunno how to.someone pls teach me.haiz.mixed emotions within me everidae.is a torture man.i will break down soon.realli.i jus cant take it animore.
someone missing u
rampage and terror;
10:47 PM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
well.todae had a trial tuition lesson in the morning.s qiao.is excatly the same place as te-tze yin's tuition.but onli different block.not tt bad lars.shld be enrolling in the lessons.had dinner at gelyang.heex. a food center call no signboard seafood.hahaz.opps mum scolding me liao.byebye.
ugly woman2/wormy/leader heng/the mother
rampage and terror;
10:10 PM
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
harlow.now in sch library using the sch com.heex.no teacher or lesson.hai.got back all the exams paper liao.not good.results are totally demoralizing sia.no source of achievement at all.maybe onli for chinese lars.but still not good.go home surely get grilled by my mum.*R.I.P*.hai.ohwells.think better buck up soon la.and join more tuition class.looks like gotta end up studying during the holidays instead of slacking arnd.pray hard tt i dun haf to sit for the dunno-wat test after the holidays.was reading this storie.take a look if u wanna.
Dear Diary,
They told me that I was the ugliest thing they'deverseen, and i started to cry.I went home and Jake called me.I thought the day would get better.But he told me that long distance relationshipsdont work out.He lived in California, and I moved to Michigan.Then I told him I loved him and that I missedhim.He told me that the only reason he ever wentoutwith me was becauseI was a joke, and he was dared to.Then he dumped me.We were going out for two and a half years!
November 9,1999
Today got a little better.I miss jake so much you dont even knowdiary!!!!But he even changed his number so I wouldn'tcallhim.But the most hottest guy at school asked me tothe dance!And those prissy girls that said im ugly let mehang out with themat lunch today.It was cool!!November 10,1999I'm crying right now... turns out that hot guy wasajerk at thedance hepoured his punch on me, and those girls rippedmy dress and everyonestartedlaughing.Then my grandma told me today that mom anddad got in a little caraccidenttoday at work .They're in critical condition, they might die.I can't write anymore.
November 11, 1999
Todays a saturday... but me and grandma wereatthe hospital allnight long.Dad died this morning.Mom is going to live, but she's crippled for herlife.I wanna die too. while we were at the hospitalgrandma found outthat she hadcancer in her stomach.She has to go on chemo- therapy .I cant believe daddy died.I'm crying more then I have my whole life .I'm in shock.I cant write...I'm too tired.I need sleep.
November 12
Daddy is not dead!He can't be!Its all a dream.My life is perfect.Jake still loves me.I can barely write.I'm crying too much.I wanna die.Take me.Bye...
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*One day later, Lisa was found dead in herbasement.She had hung herself with a yellow rope.I am her mother.My name is Maranda Gonzalez.The reason I wrote this e-mail to all of you, isbecause no one else deserveswhat my daughter had.Please remember that everyone needs love.Everyone needs a hug everyday.No one should be made fun of, or insulted.No one deserves to die like Lisa did.All of you please dont be the popular prissy girlsthat put otherpeople down to make themselves feel better!
sounds sad la.quite depressing actually.hehx.ohwells.enjoy.will try to blog again soon.(=
rampage and terror;
12:15 AM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
harlow peeps.hmm went orchard in the late afternoon.finally went there le.after such a long long long time.but spent a short time there.ohwells.
everything we do in life maybe not always be smooth.sometimes we get things done in our desired ways.sometimes we dun. when something horrible,terrible,miserable happen to us, we always ask"why do this suay thing happen to me??why am i so unlucky?"but hardly any one ask this when something GOOD happens to them"oh why do this happen to me??why am i so lucky?" ppl tend to take things for granted.they onli learn to cherish it after they lose it.isnt it too late?"once bitten, twice shy"
ok i run out of thots alreadi.got ppl keep toking to me.make me forget my words.lol.enjoyz
ugly woman2/wormy/leader heng/the mother
rampage and terror;
9:15 PM
Friday, October 15, 2004
oh.so long never update.woman also lazy to come and update.hai.hmm now is marking day.nthg much to do at home also.trying to save some $$$ so never go out loh.oh but went for facial yesterdae.heex.did smthg tt i thot i would never dare to do.well shows i am couragerous*ppl throw rotten eggs*hahaz.but aniway at least i wont regret not doing it.good luck to all the ppl sitting for O's tis year.hmmm.i will try to link ppl hor.erm cos still haven learn.=))and add songs too.hmmm.
the world is full of ups and downs.life is like a train going through a tunnel.in a tunnel it is always dark and onli darkness.jus like life when u are feeling down.but remember.the tunnel is not never ending.it will slowly reach an opening where u will see light once again .certain things happen when u dun expect it to.in life u will lose things and u will get to keep some other things.sometimes wat u want may not end up as yours but instead as others.and all u can do is to see and not to take.life is short.may seems like a long way when young.but now not animore.as ppl grow.u learn to cherish the ppl and things u have.and to live to regret some of ur past doings. u regret u didnt cherish ur kins around u, regret not making full use of ur chances, regret not making the correct decisions, regret wasting ur time, regret not studying so much so tt u can and give ur parents a better life and also one for urself too.and regret not telling the person u love "i love you".ppl tend to regret this regret tt when time is running out in their life. have they realise this earlier, maybe things wouldnt turn out to be like this.maybe things will turn out better than the present.and maybe will even turn out the way we want it to be.yes.the world is selfish.bt tt dosnt mean tt u haf to include selfishness as part of ur personality and character.ppl may seem as they are.but u never know wat is hiding beneath their skins.and wat is beneath is up to u to find out and how much u can find out."never judge a book by its cover".even in relationships.the other party may tell u how much he/she loves u and will never want to let u go.but u never know whether he/she is telling wat is realli within his/her heart.if u realli love a person, dun be afraid to express ur feelings for he/she.u never know if u never try.in this lifetime u can only love one person.and this person will stand beside u all the time and spend the rest of ur life wth u.and how will u find tt person?with ur heart.and if u dun express ur feelings for the person, u will live to regret it for the rest of ur life.
different ppl have different lives to live.many ppl will cross ur path.but is onli tt we nevert take the chance to go and notice tt person.if u take note of everi person tt crosses u path, u will soon know the whole world.we were born into this family of our own.u may like it, u may not.but wateva it is love them while u can.there are millions of ppl in the world and millions of animals and creatures and living organisms in this world.u can onli haf this family in this life time.it will be a 0.00000000000000000000000001% to be recarnated into the same family and haf back the same sliblings parents, and everything. so cherish wateva u haf and everything tt is within ur grasp.live life to the fullest and not give up because of any setbacks.and u will never live with any regrets.
so does tt sound pretty erm.... sheng1?hahaz. wellz.enjoy.
ugly woman2/wormy/leader heng/the mother
rampage and terror;
11:05 PM
finally expressed out everything in me.sorrie but i realli had to tell u all those words of mine. i have been keeping it to myself too long.i have to tell u.i know is impossible.but jus wanna say it out.tts all. and i will never forget u. never and forever.
/someone missing u/
i thought i had forgotten tt person.i was wrong.i couldnt get the person out of my mind.my heart.i realli miss the person a lot.but the person will never know the pain and misery i am going through.cos the person is not the one who is hurt.the person is not the one who is pinning for someone.the person is not the one who is lonely.i realli like to ask u.haf u ever spare a thot for me?why must u do this to me?i have never hurt u.wat did i do to deserve this torture?there is so mani things and feelings tt i am experiencing tt u never know.i know u are sorrie.but i am sorrie too.it did not help in anyway.why?why did u lie to me?u said u will never let me go.we will be together forever.tt you love me forever.why?why sae all these when u carn even fufill it.why lie to me?why break my heart?i have never even seen ur face.ur smile.d u know how bad i am feeling?but u will neve know.never know.
rampage and terror;
1:41 AM
Sunday, October 10, 2004
whee!!left one more paper to go then i am FREE!!! yes man. waited so long for this dae to come. but hope got do well for the examinations la.hai.feeling empty.o nvm.later ppl come ask me.....
ugly woman 2/wormy/leader heng
rampage and terror;
2:59 PM
